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10 Ways to Build Unstoppable Confidence

“Being unconquerable lies with yourself.” ~Sun Tzu

1.) Change your relationship with failure:

“The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” ~Marcus Aurelius

Failure is a whetstone. You are the blade. Sharpen yourself. No excuses. No pity. Sharpen yourself against the pain, the obstacle, the struggle, the loss. Be steadfast.

Life is too short to wallow in self-pity. Transform that pity into a pivot point, where you’re able to turn the tables on your relationship with failure and use it as fodder for a life well-lived.

2.) Expose yourself to new experiences:

“If you are not living in awe, you are not paying attention.” ~Rumi

Quality comes from quantity. Cast your net wide. Stretch your comfort zone so far that it snaps back on you. When the whiplash fades, you’ll know what to pour yourself into. You’ll know what drives you, what makes you come alive.

But you’ll never know if you don’t put yourself out there. Go all in. Read voraciously. Travel as an adventurist rather than a tourist. Meet new people—fascinating people, boring people, local and foreign, young and old, rich and poor. Do as Nietzsche advised, “Live dangerously.” Discover new ways of being human in the world.

3.) Be brutally honest with yourself:

“It does not matter what you bear, but how you bear it.” ~Seneca

You must know where you stand in the world. Where you begin is your baseline. If you’re beginning from a state of ignorance, weakness, and dullness, admit it. Own it. Dissect it. Dig in deep. Get all your ugly ducklings in a row. Then figure out what’s in your control and what’s not.

Once you’ve figured that out, only focus on improving what you can control while adapting to what you cannot. Keep honesty ahead of hubris. This will require a subtle recipe of temperance, patience, and steadfastness. As Jean Piaget said, “We organize our worlds by first organizing ourselves.”

4.) Build competence through self-discipline:

“Seek freedom and become captive of your desires. Seek discipline and find your liberty.” ~Frank Herbert

Take the thing that makes you come alive and build a world out of it. When you are a world-builder, you are equal parts divining rod and lightning rod. What makes you come alive is your foundation, your core purpose, your lodestone. Build on it with diligence and discipline.

Use your worldbuilding discipline to invigorate your own hero’s journey. Take a leap of courage out of your comfort zone. Overcome your own threshold guardians, shadows, and dragons. Discover the magic elixir of competence, and then gift it back to the “tribe.”

5.) Embrace change:

“If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold onto.” ~Lao Tzu

Don’t cling. Never settle. Stay loose. Stay flexible. Take a leap of courage out of faith. Nothing stays the same. Everything is fleeting and transitory. That’s okay. Keep your curiosity ahead of your certainty.

Don’t get caught up in the hype of the status quo junkies. Their conformity is all in vain. Don’t allow their destiny to prevent your own. Stay ahead of the curve by realizing that everything is on the curve. No exceptions.

6.) Create manageable goals:

“Set for yourself goals, high and noble goals, and perish in pursuit of them. I know of no better life purpose than that of perishing, animae magnae prodigus, in pursuit of the great and the impossible.” ~Nietzsche

Create a scaffold of goals, a self-apprenticeship. The foundation of this scaffold is the thing that makes you come alive. The engine of this scaffold is curiosity. As Joseph Campbell said, “follow your bliss.” When you follow your bliss, passion opens a pathway of self-sufficiency. Curiosity becomes a driving force, a forward impetus.

Create your own momentum. Knock out small goals every day. Then tackle bigger goals along the way. Seek out the shoulders of giants, not just to learn and help you reach your goals, but to see further than they did.